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Respecting Another’s Model Of The World

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) has a number of “Presuppositions”. That’s NLP speak for things we suppose to be true; beliefs which produce useful results. Get to grips with these presuppositions and you can begin to make some really positive changes without even trying …

take a walk in another man's shoes to see the world through his eyes ...

One of the key NLP Presuppositions is ”Respect the Other Person’s Model of the World”; what does this mean? By nature, people judge; we all do it. We listen to and watch others behaving in ways that we perhaps dislike or misunderstand or disagree with and we judge them upon what we see and hear. It might be someone’s appearance, race, religion, attitude, sexual persuasion – there are a myriad of things which cause us to make a generalisation about a person and raise a disdainful or disapproving eyebrow.

However, what we sometimes fail to acknowledge is that just like you and I, other people are a product of their life experience up to a nano-second ago and we can all only behave in the ways that experience has taught us. Just because someone looks or behaves in a way that you wouldn’t choose to look or behave, does it make them wrong and you right? Nope. It reinforces that we’re all different … very different, sometimes.

Once you can begin to accept people for who they are and what they do – no matter how crazy, weird, ”out there” or different they may appear to you, then life becomes a lot easier and straightforward. The energy you use in analysing and being critical changes and you come to cultivate an inner wisdom that says “You know what? I may not agree with you, what you think and what you do, however I respect that you have a right to a different viewpoint and behaviour to mine“. And the key thing in respecting someone else’s model of the world is to do exactly that – respect it – however don’t buy into it – unless of course a new way of thinking will serve you.

You haven’t lived another’s life; you haven’t experienced their ups and downs with their feelings, through their eyes. You haven’t developed the values and beliefs that another holds and whether you agree with those values or beliefs or not, remember they aren’t yours to disagree with! As the old Native American saying goes, “Walk a mile in another man’s moccasins before you criticize him.” That makes a lot of sense!

As a Therapist and Trainer, I’m regularly faced with Clients whose behaviour and thinking doesn’t serve them in any way, shape or form. Sometimes a Client will make a comment or reveal something about themselves that no-one else knows and then look expectantly at me for my shock or disapproval. They get neither because I never, ever judge – despite some of the extreme personalities I see. I seek to understand; to help someone to change – however above all, I have respect for the experience that has shaped my Client’s world into what it is, right here right now. I also have total belief that they have the inner resources to be able to change what isn’t working for them with my help.

So here’s the thing; make an undertaking today to respect the world of a person – or people – around you who ordinarily you’d question and judge. Breathe, accept it and don’t use time and energy becoming embroiled with the drama of judging and criticising. Do it – just for today. And tomorrow do it again; and the day after … soon enough, it’ll become a habit and you’ll feel better and better with each day as you begin to spend time and energy on the more important, worthy things in life than judging others.

If you’d like to understand more, you can reach me on +44 (0) 7932 060360 – I’ll happily chat through NLP and anything else you might want to talk about … especially over a Soya Caramel Latte or glass of Merlot! Just don’t ask to try my stiletto shoes on …

Be outstanding …

FAZ COLBHIE