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I Don’t Have All The Answers

As a Therapist and NLP Trainer, I empower my clients to find answers; I assist them to find focus and make changes – overcoming fears and limiting beliefs and going on to achieve their goals. So when I’m unable to find answers in my own world from time to time, people think that’s kind of strange …


a walk by the river and brown dog's just out for the count!

Many people see me as a panacea; a knower of all things. And – where my clients are concerned – there’s a huge element of truth in this assumption because I’m able to take an objective view of their situation and I can very easily understand their challenges and circumstances and identify options and routes for change which had previously evaded them.

However, when it comes down to basics, I’m just another human being living a life which presents its own set of challenges on a daily basis. Most of these challenges are easy to overcome because of my positive mindset and my in-depth knowledge of not only the NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) tools of my trade, but myself too.

Sometimes, though, hurdles appear which aren’t so easy for me to jump alone – and I suspect the majority of Therapists, Trainers and Coaches would agree if they were honest. Professionals working in this industry can veer towards an almost elitist stance – refusing to admit that they too have chinks in their armour. Does it make them lesser people if they admit their foibles and frustrations? Not in my opinion, no – it makes them authentic. And authenticity goes a long way.

I’m currently experiencing one of those hurdles and at the time of writing this article, I’m really unsure as to which way I should approach the obstacle to jump over it without falling or kicking it down. The cause of the obstacle and the rather tenuous situation in which it’s left me is out of my own control which adds to my frustration and disappointment – as does the fact that I just simply hadn’t anticipated it. There’s a lesson in there for me somewhere! I have a number of options and I’ve weighed up the pros and cons continuously for a couple of days, together with the impact of whichever action I opt for upon those around me. And still I’m running in ever increasing circles around the obstacle as opposed to flying over it.

What advice would I give to someone else in my position? Operating from a position of integrity would be the key ingredient here; ensuring that I’m fully armed with knowledge of the outcomes from whichever course I take; and importantly, feeling totally congruent on every level with whatever path I choose to take. Of course, these are all intangibles to a great extent.

So, I’m simply going to revert to type for the time being; that means withdrawing from the world in general and doing lots of soul searching. The “world in general” doesn’t include Odhin, my Rhodesian Ridgeback and trusted friend, also affectionately known as Brown Dog – because he’s a dog and he’s brown. He’s usually my first port of call in times like this and it’s a win-win situation for us both as he’s a sucker for a lengthy walk beside a river in the countryside; it gives him a great excuse to doss on the sofa for hours afterwards.

However, what I am sure of is that by calming my conscious mind of the constant inner monologue for a while and seeking solace with some meditation in a beautiful space, I’ll emerge the other side knowing on a deep level what I need to do; and I’ll do it – full throttle. And then I’ll bounce back, full of energy, ready to take on the world again.

Life’s all about knowing yourself and understanding the inner resources which you have to call upon when you need them. And sometimes whilst you can speak with those nearest and dearest to you to seek their opinions – and indeed I’m very fortunate to have a couple of very close friends and trusted confidantes – you actually need to seek your own answers from within.

Listen … and you’ll hear them.

Be outstanding …